I was studying for my Psych intro course
genetics and hereditary traits in people.
And I took some comfort in knowing that,
basically, I am 70 percent or so you and by proxy
of my father much like the Heffernan men I am
proud to name, when I do. They did these tests see.
On twins. Some of the twins had been separated at birth.
Some of the groups weren’t even twins either, they were
adopted children who later found their adoptive parents.
In all cases the Intelligence of the kids got further
and further away from the average of their adopted parents.
Slowly, over our lifetimes basically, we become more like the people
we come from, just naturally. So twins will always be twins.
You and I will always be more like each other than most.
So when I was trouble in my youth, and survived it, it
shows this sort of over arching star that we all have in us, that
cuts across all our nights of misery or loneliness or desperation or fear.
It takes us on a trajectory, and often we are separated irreparably for periods
beyond our control – indeed some never even glimpse their roots,
it doesn’t matter because we are slowly meeting them in ourselves,
genetically, the way we need them most, as we become ourselves.
So in a way you became and continue to become (your only young)
more like your parents. It might not feel like it, but I think you get the best of them.
I thought of you learning all of it anyway, and it is Mothers Day which I hate
as a day more than any of the hallmark ones, because mothers days are everyday…
I thought it might be consoling to know that, despite never finding them in the flesh,
Science proves that all along, in the most important ways, were bound by life itself with the task of finding more and more of you.
And what more can anyone ask of another than the literal reserve, the strength, to carry on with or without them on the days that count, right?